Operational
by Wakkowarnerlover
Summary: Perry gets a problem with his stomach and has to go into surgery. While he is asleep, he somehow manages to connect with a village of ghosts where he finds his old friend Terrence the turkey.
1. Chapter 1

Perry sat in the middle of the trampoline, looking as mindless as possible. Phineas, Ferb and Isabella were bouncing him.

"Maybe we can all count to three and jump at the same time." Ferb said. "Then Perry would go REALLY high."

"But what if he goes so high that he flies off the edge of the trampoline?" Phineas asked.

Isabella giggled, but Perry didn't know why. The idea of falling from a great height onto the ground did not amuse him.

"Okay, stop jumping." Phineas said. They all stopped. "One… two… THREE!"

They jumped. Perry was bounced to about a foot in the air.

"I wish we had a trampoline in our backyard." Phineas said. "Mom says maybe Ferb will get one on his birthday."

"Until then, you can always come over." Isabella said, jumping extra high. "Does Perry like to play fetch?"  
"Yeah, we used to play it all the time when he was a baby." Phineas said. "But lately he just sits around. Maybe he'll play."  
"Maybe he won't." Perry chattered.

Phineas gave him a pleading look. Perry sighed and stood up. He jumped down from the trampoline.

"Okay." Isabella picked up a pink tennis ball. "I'll throw first. Fetch, Perry!"

She threw the ball a little too close to a tree. Perry ran off in the direction she threw it in. He skidded to a stop when he didn't see the ball appear in front of him.

He turned and looked back at her. The tennis ball had hit the tree trunk and bounced back to Isabella.

"Sorry, Perry." She tried again.

This time the tennis ball landed on Isabella's dog's head. Pinky jolted awake and growled at the ball.

"Sorry, Pinky!"

Perry lay down in the grass. He started to eat a little bit of it.

"I'll try again. Fetch!" Isabella threw the ball. Perry watched it as it rolled off into the distance. He resumed eating grass.

"I guess he doesn't want to fetch." Isabella picked up the ball. "Oh well. Want to come inside? My mom made sandwiches."

"Sure. One sec." Phineas approached Perry. Once Isabella was inside, he said, "Why wouldn't you go get the ball?"

"I'm not feeling well."

"You seem fine. You're eating grass."

"That's because I'm not feeling well. My stomach hurts, and I need to throw up. Grass makes me throw up."

"A lovely cycle." Ferb said.

"Really?" Phineas looked concerned. "When did it start hurting?"

"Yesterday. And it went away. But now it's back."

"Maybe we should take you home."

Perry shook his head. "It's boring there without you."

Isabella peeked out from her back door. "Guys? You coming?"

"I think we have to go home." Phineas picked Perry up. "Perry's sick."

"How can you tell?" Isabella asked.

"He's not acting like himself. And he ate grass. Animals only do that when they need to throw up."  
"Oh. Well, tell him to get well soon."

"We will. Thanks, Isabella. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Feel better!" Pinky yapped as they left.

* * *

"Weekend, weekend, hey everybody it's the weekend!"

Perry covered his head with his pillow. The latest Kendrine Adems song had come out, and it was REALLY annoying.

"Come on, Perry. Cheer up!" Phineas said. "I know, the song's kind of weird. But the lyrics are awesome!"

"Besides, we can't make Candace turn it off. So you may as well try to enjoy it." Ferb said.

"Weekend, weekend, hey everybody it's the weekend!" Kendrine's voice blared from Candace's room.

Perry rolled over on his side. His stomach felt like someone was squeezing it from the inside.

"Are you okay?" Phineas asked. "Your stomach's been hurting for over an hour now. Do you want to call the vet?"

"Mmm…"

"Maybe he's just overly hungry." Ferb said.

"What does it feel like?" Phineas asked.

"Like someone's trying to rip my stomach out of my stomach."

Phineas rubbed his belly. Perry cringed slightly.

"Mom?" Phineas called. "I think something's wrong with Perry."

"What's he doing?"

"He's laying around a lot."

"He always does that, sweetie."

"Can we take him to the vet?"

"I'm sure he's fine, Phineas. Dinner's almost ready. Would you mind setting the table?"

Phineas carefully patted Perry on the head and left the room.

"CANDACE!" Linda called. "DINNER! AND TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN!"

Kendrine Adems's voice started to fade. "Weekend, weekend…"

Perry crawled down from the couch and followed Ferb into the dining room. His food had already been set down near the refrigerator.

Perry walked over to his bowl and started eating. He hadn't realized he was so hungry.

Phineas picked at his food. Perry wished Phineas wouldn't worry about him all the time.

"Guess what?" Candace said. "Jeremy just invited me to his party! It's this Saturday!"

"Cool." Phineas muttered, poking at his spaghetti.

"But guess who else is going to be there? Stacy! And she says that if I hang out with Jeremy ALL night and pay no attention to her, she'll be really upset. Not that I would ever do that or anything. I mean, who does she think I am?"  
Perry felt his stomach cramping up. He was still hungry, but it hurt to eat. He lay down on the floor.

"Mom, I really think Perry's sick." Phineas said.

"Phineas, don't interrupt me! I'm talking about something SUPER important here! Should I wear my red dress or my blue one?" Candace asked.

"Mom, look at him. He never lies down on the floor like that."

Perry slowly stood up. He had a feeling he needed to get to the living room rug pretty quickly.

Unfortunately he only made it to Linda's shoe before he threw up.

"Perry!" Linda shouted in disgust. "That's it, you're going outside tonight."

"Mom." Phineas was close to tears now. "He's not feeling well. Please trust me on this."

Linda picked Perry up. "It's not like this is anything different, Phineas. Perry always eats too quickly and throws up. And he needs to learn to eat slower."

"Just look at him. He's not happy."

Linda held Perry up to her face. Then she set him back on the ground. "I'll leave him inside if you're so insistent, but he looks the same as he always has. I'm going to go clean off my shoe."

Perry rolled onto his side and moaned.

Linda stopped. "Did HE make that noise?"

"I'm telling you!" Phineas said. "He's not feeling good!"

"All right. Get him in his carrier and wait for me in the car."

* * *

"Mostly he's been lying down. But he threw up right after he ate his dinner." Linda handed Perry to Monogram, who was disguised as the vet.

"Poor thing. I'll check him out and have him back to you." Monogram took Perry's carrier into an examination room.

Once the door was closed, he opened the carrier and took him out. "What's the matter, Agent P?"

Perry pointed at his stomach. It REALLY didn't feel any better after the car ride.

"Hm. Did you eat anything inedible recently?"

Perry blushed, but he shook his head.

Monogram checked him over. When he was finished, he didn't look very cheerful.

"I know what the problem is." He said. "Get in the carrier."

"I don't want to." Perry chirped. "It smells like a wet dog."

Monogram put him inside the pet carrier and closed its door. "Goodness… that carrier smells like a wet dog."

"Told you."

Monogram took Perry back out to his family and handed the carrier to Phineas. Phineas turned the carrier so that Perry faced him.

"What happened?" Linda asked.

"He has a kind of sore in his stomach." Monogram said. "It's causing him some pain, and when he eats, his stomach rejects the food. That's why he's been… erm… losing his lunch so much. I'll give you something to help keep the sore at bay so he can eat, but in two days you'll have to take him in. We'll keep him for about a week. That'll give him enough time to recover from the surgery."

Phineas looked horrified. "He has to…"  
"This kind of sore has to be removed. If the operation works, he'll be feeling like himself in no time."

"IF it works?" Phineas asked, his voice shaking.

"Ah. It's not a very simple procedure. But we don't really have a choice. Platypuses don't normally have stomachs. I'm assuming that's why Perry is having a problem with his. We need to fix it so he can eat again."

Phineas's eyes watered.

"Don't worry." Perry said. "I'll be fine. I've had worse. Remember the time I ate that bowling ball?"

Phineas didn't answer. He just hung his head. Ferb put his arm around his stepbrother.

"Dumb evolved stomach." Perry said. "Either be there and work or don't be there."


	2. Chapter 2

Phineas put Perry down on top of a heating pad and wrapped a blanket around him. "Is that comfortable? Is the heat helping your tummy?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Do you need anything? Like water?"

"Nah. I'm fine. I'll just snooze, if it's all right with you."

"I just want everything to be perfect." Phineas said.

"This is perfect. I'm happy you're here. Don't worry. I'll be fine."

Phineas smiled at him.

"I brought books." Ferb said, putting a pile of books down by Perry. "And some of them are ones about going to the hospital."

"Ferb, you didn't steal those from the doctor's office, did you?"

"Of course not. Doctor Wallace gave them to me."

"Why didn't he give ME any?"

"Maybe because you kicked him through the wall when he tested your reflexes."

Phineas thought for a minute. "Huh. Maybe that had SOMETHING to do with it."

Ferb opened one of the books. He handed it to Phineas.

Phineas cleared his throat. "Going to the hospital. When people get sick, they sometimes are so sick that they need to go to the hospital." He showed Perry the picture in the book and continued reading. "The doctors at the hospital work very very hard to help all of the people that go there. Some people need special medicine. Some people need some shots. But all of those things help the people get better. Sometimes, however, even if a doctor tries really, really hard, the patient…" Phineas stopped reading.

"Come on! I want to hear what happens next!" Perry joked.

"Um… let's pick a happier book." Phineas picked up a different one. "Awesome Alpaca Goes To The Doctor."

"Wouldn't it be 'Awesome Alpaca Goes To The Vet'? Or does this alpaca think he's so cool and awesome that animal doctors are beyond him?"

"Awesome Alpaca loves going to the doctor. He gets a lollipop every time because he is always on his best behavior. The end." Phineas searched the back of the book. "What kind of book has only two pages in it?"

"The boring kind." Perry said.

"I wish we could build you something that would get rid of that sore." Phineas said. "I don't like the idea of them… well… having to go inside your stomach."

"I don't either, but my stomach hurts so bad that I'm willing to allow them to do so. It hurts worse than the time I ate Ferb's shoe."

Ferb slowly looked down at his shoe, then back at Perry.

"Don't worry. Monogram washed it off."

Ferb still looked suspicious.

"Let's watch some TV." Phineas said. He switched on the television.

"Weekend, weekend, hey everybody it's the weekend!"

"Look, it's Kendrine Adems's latest music video!" Ferb said.

"Make it stop!" Perry shouted.

Phineas changed the channel.

"And now, the platypus channel." Said the TV. "A channel designed specifically for platypuses, filled with footage platypuses love so."

"This sounds promising." Perry said.

Video clips of worms and insects filled the screen. Then a clip of a stream. Then a clip of more worms.

"This is gross." Phineas said.

"I like it." Perry said. "It's soothing. It's like watching a cooking at home show or something."

"Have you ever lived in a river?" Phineas asked.

Perry shook his head. "I've lived with you guys my whole life. Well, almost my whole life. When I was born, I lived in a zoo. Then I got you."

"We're the best." Ferb said.

"Indeed you are. I'm happy with the way things turned out."

"We aren't going to see you for a whole week." Phineas said sadly.

"Let's make the most of the time we have, then." Perry smiled.

* * *

"Are you comfortable?" Monogram asked.

Perry nodded.

"Need me to get you anything? Water? Blankets?"  
Perry shook his head.

"All right, then. A doctor may come in to look at you. If you like, you can watch something… or talk to your roommate." Monogram left.

Perry looked over at the animal in the bed near his. It was a Yorkshire terrier. She appeared to be wearing dark eyeliner.

"Hey. I'm Dana. Why are you in here?" She asked.

"Something's wrong with my stomach."

"Mm. Too bad."

"You?"

"Not much. I broke my leg. And my foot. And my shoulder. And I had to get stitches on my hip and chin. And I have a headache. And a non-contagious cold."

"Wow. I'm so sorry."

"It isn't your fault." Dana pulled out a laptop and started typing on it. "There's no internet connection in this blasted hospital. How am I supposed to check my email?"

"Uh… I'm sorry."

"And my television doesn't work. I guess it's just as well, because my head's throbbing like crazy."

"I hope you feel better."

"Save your hope for yourself. It'll probably take me weeks to recover. What the heck? My DVD isn't even showing up on this thing."

Perry didn't bother to respond. He leaned back against the pillows.

At least the agency's hospital was comfortable. The pillows were nice and fluffy, and the blankets kept him nice and warm. If his stomach wasn't hurting so bad, and he wasn't stuck in a room with the world's most negative terrier, everything would be perfect.

The door to their room opened. A man in a white coat entered.

"Hey there." He said. "I'm Doctor Big. No need to worry, I'm a professional. I'm just going to look you over."

"Twelve people have looked me over this morning alone." Perry groaned.

"You'll get used to it." Dana said.

"No BONES about it, I'm the best doctor around!" Doctor Big said. He started to laugh.

Perry stared at him.

"Nothing?" Doctor Big asked. "Nothing? Not even a little chuckle? Really?"

Perry looked away.

"Okay. Well… I'll need to take that blanket off so I can have a look at your belly."  
Perry pushed the blankets away. Doctor Big began poking at his belly.

"Guess what the carrot said to the orange?" Doctor Big said. "Come on, guess."

"I'm a stupid vegetable called a carrot?" Perry mumbled.

"Orange I glad I'm pointy and not round!" Doctor Big started to laugh again. "Oh man. That one always cracks me up."

Dana put her pillow over her ears.

"All right. I'm done here." Doctor Big covered Perry back up with the blanket. "Hey, why was six afraid of seven?"

"Because he kept telling him lame jokes and didn't stop until the end of time." Perry said wearily.

"Because seven eight nine! Ha ha ha ha!" Doctor Big left the room in a fit of laughter.

"If I could get up, I'd stick a bolt on that door." Dana said.

Perry had just been thinking the same thing.

* * *

Perry woke to the sound of the Flea Waltz.

"BUM BUM BUM, CRASH CRASH! BUM BUM BUM, CRASH CRASH!"

Perry sat up instantly. "What the…"

A huge marching band burst through the door, followed by Devon the dog, Pinky the Chihuahua, Darren the duck, Ferdinand the frog, Bernie the bear and Peter the panda.

"Like our 'Get Well' present?" Pinky asked, putting a box of chocolates on Perry's bedside table. "I found out too late that you couldn't actually digest anything other than clear liquids for the time being… but you can always eat the chocolates later! And you can always smell them, too. Mmm."

"Guys… what IS this?"

Peter tried to answer, but the marching band was still blasting the Flea Waltz as loud as it could.

"WE MADE YOU A CARD!" Darren shouted.

"WHAT?" Perry called back.

"WE MADE YOU A CARD!"

"SHE PAID TO A YARD?"

"A CARD! WE MADE YOU…" Darren began using his hands to act out his sentence. "A CARD!"

"OH. THANK YOU."

Darren brought it over. A picture of the agency was drawn on the front.

Perry opened the card up. The inside said, "Get well soon! Love from Pinky, Carrie, Devon, Darren, Peter, Ferdinand, Kyle, Ernest, Bernie, Terry, Sergei, Brandon…"

Perry had to flip the card over to read the rest of the names. Pretty much everyone in the agency had signed it.

"CAN WE PLEASE TURN THE MUSIC OFF?" Perry yelled. "IT'S MAKING MY HEAD HURT."

"WHAT?" Devon asked.

"TURN THE FLEA WALTZ OFF!"

"OH." Devon waved his paws, and the marching band stopped.

"Thank you." Perry breathed.

"So, how are you feeling?" Darren asked.

"Kind of sick. And really tired."

"Don't worry." Devon patted his head. "We'll take good care of you."  
"And don't worry about work. Sergei took over for you again." Peter said. "Like he did that one time. And that other time. And that other time."

"Don't you remember, though?" Devon said. "During THAT other time, Rocky the raccoon took over for Perry."

"I thought that was that other time." Peter said.

"No, it was for sure that other time." Devon said.

"Guys. Rocky took over for me when I had that snakebite. Case closed." Perry lay back down.

"Are you feeling sleepy?" Pinky asked. "We could read you a story."

Perry shook his head. "No. You don't have to."

"Of course we do! We're your friends." Bernie opened up a book and started reading. "Once upon a time, there were three adorable, highly intelligent, wonderful, kindly bears."

"That's not what it says." Ferdinand said.

"Hush, Ferdinand. I'm reading. So, one day, the bears went out for a walk, when an evil, stupid little girl named Goldilocks decided to BREAK INTO their house and STEAL all of their food and VANDALIZE their chairs and then sleep in their bed like a CRAZY STALKER. So the bears chased her away. The end."

"That's not what it says." Peter said. "You forgot the part about Super Panda. He comes in and saves the day."

"Why do bears get all the action?" Devon asked. "Where are the dogs?"

"Yeah, where do we come in?" Pinky asked.

"Dogs are awesome!" Dana piped up from her bed, where she had been quietly reading.

"And don't forget me!" Ferdinand said.

"Or ducks!" Said Darren.

Perry moaned and covered his face with his blanket.

"Aw. He must really be sick." Pinky said. "Don't worry, Perry. Monogram will make sure you get better."

"Guys… no offense… but I really just want to sleep right now."

"None taken! We can be quiet." Said Pinky.

"No, we can't." Said Peter.

"Let's play the silent game." Devon said. "3… 2… 1…"

There was silence.

Then a giggle from Ferdinand.

"Ferdinand loses!" Shouted Peter.

"Peter loses!" Shouted Devon.

"Devon loses!" Said Darren.

"QUIET!" Perry snapped.

Everyone fell silent.

"Sorry, Perry." Pinky whispered. "Get some rest."


	3. Chapter 3

Perry opened his eyes. For a moment, he thought he was home.

But the ceiling was white.

Perry sighed and rolled over. Dana was still asleep. It was pretty early in the morning.

"…Not doing so well." Monogram's voice was audible through the closed door. "They think that if he survives the surgery, he won't be able to recover."

"Maybe it's a mistake." That was Carl.

"No. The sore is very serious. But we still have to just… well, hope that it will work."

There was silence.

"I don't want him to go, Carl. He's so young still. The agency needs him."

"I don't either."

"I notified his host family that it may not end well." Monogram said.

Perry's heart sank. Poor Phineas and Ferb. He didn't want them to get scared.

"I guess it happens to all of them sooner or later." Monogram sounded upset. "I just really hope we can save him. Oh, good. Doctor Bigger. Would you mind…?"

"Doctor Bigger." Perry repeated. "Excellent."

The door opened again. Monogram walked in, followed by a blonde woman.

"Hello." The woman said. "I'm Doctor Bigger. I'm going to give you a few pills, okay?"

"Not like I have a choice." Perry muttered.

"What did he say?" Doctor Bigger asked.

Monogram shrugged. "I don't understand animals. I only train them."

* * *

Perry was exhausted. All morning long, doctors had come in and left. He was sick of being poked at and fussed over. All he wanted to do was sleep. But his stomach hurt too badly.

He sat and stared at the ceiling for a while.

When he got bored of that, he began counting the nonliving objects in the room.

"I'm Doctor Roscoe." A man said, stepping through the door. He was holding a clipboard. "Your surgery is tomorrow, and I'm here to answer any questions you may have. I have studied up on animal noises, so I am able to translate your speech. Do you have any questions?"

"Yeah." Perry said. "Where's Doctor Biggest?"

Doctor Roscoe gave him an odd look. "What?"

"Come on. You can't pretend you don't know what I mean. I've seen Doctor Big and Doctor Bigger. Where's Doctor Biggest?"

"There IS no Doctor Biggest."  
"There has to be."

Doctor Roscoe stared at him.

"It's a joke." Perry finally said.

Doctor Roscoe didn't laugh. Instead he looked down at his clipboard. "Here's just a rundown of what will happen tomorrow. We'll bring you into the operating room, where we will then put you to sleep, remove the sore and clean out the area where it was, stitch you up, give you a couple of days for recovery and send you back home."

Perry nodded. "Mkay."  
"You have no questions?"

"Nope."  
"You don't have any concerns?"

"Not really."

"What does that mean?"

"Um… I'm pretty sure it's another way of saying 'Perhaps, no'."

"There's nothing wrong with being nervous." Doctor Roscoe said. "It's perfectly normal."

"So, if I'm not nervous, does that mean I'm abnormal?"

Doctor Roscoe sighed.

"Doctor Big would think that was funny." Perry said under his breath.

"Today you'll have some final examinations and…"

"Final? How can you say they're all final if there's more than one? And what will happen if I have the VERY final one? The last examination ever. Perhaps I will spontaneously combust. Or maybe I will grow wings. Or get a lollipop."  
"…And tests. Once you're done with those, you'll need to rest for the remainder of the day."

"Dang, I was going to practice my river dance."

Doctor Roscoe stared at him again.

"You don't have much of a sense of humor, do you?" Perry asked.

"Oh well. I suppose making jokes is a sign of health." Doctor Roscoe stood up. "Doctor Gigantic will be in here momentarily to take you for your physical examinations."

"Gigantic. I should have known." Perry said. "Big, Bigger, and Gigantic."

* * *

Perry was half-asleep when the door creaked open. He didn't look to see who it was. It was probably just another doctor.

He honestly didn't care if he never saw another doctor in his life. He was sick of the whole lot of them. They kept reassuring him everything would be okay, and then they'd go back to forcing a bunch of stuff down his throat.

He couldn't wait for it all to be over. All he wanted to do was go home.

"Perry?"

Perry opened one eye. Phineas stood next to his bed.

"What are you doing in here?" He demanded. "Monogram could walk in any second!"

"I needed to see you."  
"You nearly gave me a heart attack! I'll see you in a few days. But you really, REALLY need to get out of here. If Monogram finds out, you'll never see me again."  
Phineas looked like he was about ready to cry.

"Are you all right?" Perry asked.

"I'm fine." He said. "But…" He hesitated for a moment.

"But?"

"But… Ferb's not."

Perry sat up. "What's wrong with him? Is he sick? Hurt? What happened?"

"No. He's just worried. That's why I'm here. He wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine. I'm just a little sore. I got needled in my arm today, and it's still kind of numb."  
"And your stomach?"

"Hurts so bad I hardly notice it anymore. I think it's gone numb as well."  
Phineas patted him. "Ferb got really scared when he heard you… might die."

"Animals know when they're dying." Perry said. "And I'm pretty sure I'll be fine."

"Well… we figured." Phineas said. "But Ferb's also scared that… if the surgery messes up… or if something goes wrong… he's scared you'll…"  
Perry shook his head. "No. I trust these doctors. Well, most of them. And I know they're well-trained to do the best they can. I promise you, Phineas, I'll come out of this alive and well-"

"Not me. Ferb. Ferb's the one who's worried."

"And he was afraid to ask me these things directly."

"Yeah." Phineas looked at the floor.

"Well, tell Ferb that there's nothing wrong with being scared. I'm a little scared myself. But he doesn't have to be ashamed of it or hide it. Sometimes it's good to let your feelings out. And if he ever needs me, I'll always be right here for him. For both of you."  
Phineas nodded, but he didn't say anything.

Perry held his hand. "I promise you guys. I'll always be here for you. And I'll always watch out for you. That's one thing you don't have to worry about."  
Phineas gave him a hug. "Ferb says thank you."

Perry smiled. "Tell him he's welcome, and that I love him."

"He loves you too."

Phineas let go and stood up.

"It will be fine." Perry said. "Call me if you need me. You know my number."

"Okay."

"And when you get home, why don't you do something fun? Watch a movie or something."

"I love you, pal."

"I love you too. I would never say this, but you really need to go."

Phineas smiled. "Okay. See you later." He waved and left.

Only one minute later, Monogram entered. "Hello, Agent P. Hello, Agent D. How are you two getting on?"

"Well, wonderful, if you don't count the fact that I'm injured, and that the TV still isn't working except for the one channel with the dog beauty pageant which is stupid, my tea got cold and my water got hot, I'm burning up under these blankets and I can't pull them down because my shoulder's broken, and I still never got that sesame-seed bagel with strawberry jam that I ordered from room service." Dana barked.

Monogram didn't quite understand. "I'm glad everything's going well. I'll check on you two again tomorrow." He left.

"There's room service?" Perry asked.

"Yeah. But the service part sucks. You can call them on a special button on your bedside phone."

Perry picked up the bedside phone and looked at it. It had a bunch of buttons on it. One had a picture of room service, one had a picture of a doctor, and another had a picture of a white cross in the middle of a red square.

"They have an emergency button on a hospital phone? Isn't that kind of redundant?"

"Not if the hospital accidentally burns down." Dana said.

"It doesn't look like a hospital sign, anyways. It looks like the flag of Switzerland. 'Room Service, Doctor Assistance, Switzerland… hey, guys, let's call Switzerland!'"

"You need to teach Doctor Big some humor pointers." Dana said.

"Big time." Perry agreed.

Dana raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, bad pun." Perry put the phone back on the table.


	4. Chapter 4

Perry stared out the window. A bird was fluttering back and forth. Perry wished it would make up its mind. Its indecisive flying was making him dizzy.

He adjusted himself so that he was more comfortable. He'd been waking up and falling back asleep all night, and he felt tired. But for some reason, he couldn't fall back to sleep.

"Is everything all right?" Asked Dana. "You look kind of-"

"I'm fine." Perry snapped.

"Oookay." Dana focused on her laptop.

"I didn't mean to snap at you like that." Perry said. "I'm not really feeling like myself today."

"Understandable." Dana said.

"At least I'll be home in a couple days." Perry sighed and pulled the covers tighter around him. "When do you get out, by the way?"

"Probably not for a couple of months."

"Oh. That stinks."

"Tell me about it. This whole thing with my boyfriend Ken… it hasn't been working out. Neither has my whole life. I mean, I know what I want. I want someone who's tough, but who doesn't show off. I want puppies. I want to buy that beachside property I keep saving up for. Why can't I get these things? I know I want them. I should stop waiting for them. I should just go straight up and get them."

"That's a good plan."  
"I know. I think of it every single week." Dana shrugged. "I'm never really going to do it. I should just forget about it."  
"I think you should try."

Dana looked at him. "Huh?"  
"It's your life. You should be able to live where you want with whoever you want. I do, and I'm happy."

Dana kind of smiled. "Maybe I should try. …You know, maybe I will. As soon as I get out of here. I'm going to get that house. And those puppies. I never got your name, by the way."  
"Perry."  
"Maybe I'll name a puppy after you. I'm for sure naming one Carlos."

"What?"

"Carlos. After this toy." Dana held up a toy clown. "I got him a few days ago. He's been keeping my hopes up." She pressed his belly.

"Stay happy! Good things will always come." Carlos said.

Perry groaned.

Monogram entered the room. "All right, Agent P. We're going to get you cleaned up, and then we'll take you in for surgery."  
"Good luck." Dana said. "And remember…"

She squeezed Carlos.

"Caring and sharing help set things right!" Carlos said.

"Thanks… I think." Perry allowed Monogram to pick him up.

* * *

Monogram brought Perry into the operating room. Doctor Roscoe was looking at a clipboard. A few other surgeons Perry didn't know were setting everything up.

"Why do surgeons wear green?" Perry asked Doctor Roscoe.

Doctor Roscoe looked up from his clipboard. "I don't know. I suppose it's… a sterile color or something."  
"Very professional answer." Perry said. "I always thought they wore it because if they threw up during their job, and it got on their shirt, it'd just blend in. Unless it was blueberry smoothie. Or a ham sandwich."

Doctor Roscoe looked a little sick himself.

Monogram laid Perry down on the operating table. "Just sit tight for a few minutes while I talk to the surgeons."

Perry stared up at the ceiling. "Does the surgeon know what he's doing?"

"Yes." Doctor Roscoe said. "He's very aware."

"Okay. Just wondering."

"Any other questions?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"All right then." Monogram returned to Perry. "Everything will be fine. Just think good thoughts."

One of the surgeons placed a mask over Perry's face.

Perry didn't try to stay awake. He'd been tired before.

He instantly fell asleep.

* * *

At least his dream didn't have Carlos the Caring Clown in it this time.

Perry was standing on slimy earth. There were patches of dark grass around him in random places.

"New person!" A beagle bounded forward. "Hi! I'm Dalrond. But people mostly call me Daly. And here's… Buck, where'd you go? He was right behind me…"

"Rarf!" A dog made of nothing but bones jumped on Perry. He was apparently trying to lick him, but he had no tongue.

"There he is. Get down, Bucky."

Bucky got down.

"So, are you staying here, or are you just visiting?" Daly asked.

"I have… no idea. Where is this place?"

"This is Gluum."  
"Yeah. Okay. I'm asleep again."

"Exactly. Are you asleep, or are you dead?"

"Huh?"

Daly sighed. "This is one of the many, many places that people go when they die. People sometimes wind up visiting here when they're asleep because their souls just want to get out and walk around for a bit." Daly tried to poke Perry, but his paw went directly through. "You see, I can't make real contact with you. You're just asleep. Still tied to the real world."

"And… Bucky. He knocked me down. Is he asleep, too?"

"Nah. Bucky's a strange one. He didn't even come here as a soul. Just as bones. That's why his yapping makes no sense."

"Arf arf!" Said Bucky, his bones clattering.

"We haven't had many people come here in a while." Daly said. "It's been kind of lonely. Most people decide to go elsewhere when they die."

"Where?"

"I have no idea. But since you aren't dead, you can bring someone back to the surface."

"So… I could bring you back to life if I woke up?"

"Yes. But no! This has been my home for eons." Daly smiled, revealing ghostly teeth. "I created the town of Gluum myself. Built it in a week. Isn't it nice?"

Perry looked around. Tons of falling-apart houses lined the streets. A creepy-looking transparent man was sitting on one of the porches.

"Um… I guess. Reminds me of a ride I went on once."

"Are you looking for anyone?" Daly asked. "I can sniff someone out. You can drag a family member or friend back up. Or even a total stranger. But I can only sniff people out who are closest to you. And don't worry, if you bring them back, their bodies heal to their 'alive' status." He began sniffing, then pointed over at a ghostly woman who was standing next to a store called Deadly Deals. "You know her? She doesn't appear to have any relation to you, but you two have a similar aura. You may have come in contact with someone she knew at one time."

Perry studied the woman. She had a sad look around her. She looked familiar, sort of like Ferb, in a way.

Perry looked away. "I don't think I want to bring her back up."

"No matter. You know her?"

"Wasn't alive when she was. But it's better if she stays down here."

"Understood." Daly gave a nod. "She's been here for… quite a few years, I'm not sure how many. But she's a very sad woman. I have no idea why."

"Tell her that her family turns out okay. They're very happy."

Daly appeared confused, but he nodded. "I will." He turned his head in the direction of the woman and closed his eyes.

The woman started to smile. She looked shyly down at the ground.

"There ya go." Daly said. "So, do you want a tour?"

"Not really." Perry said.

"Anyone you can think of you'd want to find?"  
Perry thought for a while. "Yes, actually. Um… do you know anyone… named Terrence?"

Daly looked at Bucky, who was jumping around, clattering noisily. "Turkey? Sure. He plays with Bucky. You knew him?"

"He was my best friend."

Even if this was a dream, the thought of seeing his old friend again gave Perry a very warm feeling. He missed Terrence so much. It

had been a long time since his best friend's death, but it still upset Perry greatly.

"Okay. I'll see if I can round him up." Daly followed Bucky, who was running off in a random direction.

Perry trailed behind them.

Daly hopped up onto what was left of a stage and gave a loud bark. "Gluum residents, gather!"

Tons of souls floated around the stage. Bucky did a little spin, like he was performing for the captive audience.

Men, women, dogs, cats, fish and even a dinosaur were all standing around the stage, watching Daly intently.

"Are we all here?" Daly asked. He began to count. "five seventy, five seventy one… Five seventy one and a half! We're all here!"

"A half?" Perry asked.

Daly pointed at a ghost alligator who had obviously been cut in half before becoming a ghost. Perry shuddered.

"We're looking for Terrence." Daly said.

"Here!" Said three voices.

"Terrence. Turkey."

A ghost pushed through the crowd and wandered onto the stage. It was Terrence, still looking exactly the same as he had when Perry had last seen him.

Perry felt tears of joy come into his eyes. He and Terrence ran to each other. They tried to hug, but Terrence went right through him.

"I haven't seen you in such a long time." Terrence said. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you more!"

Perry looked over at Daly. Daly was scuffing his feet and looking at the ground. Bucky had sat down on the stage with a soft, melancholy clatter.

"Tell me everything that happened." Terrence said, leading Perry off of the stage. "I want to know about all of it."

"Every single detail?"

"Of course! How's the agency doing?"

"Really amazing."

* * *

"I can't believe Devon made a musical about himself." Terrence was doubled over with laughter.

"I know! I managed to come in right at the end, too. It was like, crash. The end!"

"How perfect was that?"

"I know, right?" Perry smiled. "Well, I suppose we're all caught up now."

"I still can't believe how much I've missed." Terrence shook his head. "Darren taunting you, the big rogue battle… you've made contact with your owners! And gosh, four platypups? I never would have thought. You've grown, buddy."

"I'm really here, right? I'm not just having a really crazy dream?"

"Nah. It's here. But don't worry, your body's still breathing. No one will think you're dead."

"I really wish I could hug you."

"I wish I could hug you too. But I'm really happy for you. Your life seems to be going wonderfully."

"I can take you back up." Perry said. "Daly told me."

"Are you sure?" Terrence asked skeptically. "How do I say this… my body isn't exactly… intact."

"He said your body would heal."

Terrence nodded slowly. "I'm… I'm sorry, Perry. But I don't really want to go back."

"Why not?"

"My home is here. With Bucky and Daly and the others. I miss you more than anything, but I can't leave. I live here."

Perry frowned. "Oh. I guess I understand."

"Please don't be upset." Terrence begged.

"I just really missed you." Perry said. "My life hasn't been the same without you."  
"Perry, your life is going the way it needs to go. And we shouldn't mess with its course. I miss you too, but you need to keep living. My time came. My life was good. But it's over now."

Perry nodded. He felt a lump in his throat. "All right. Thank you."


	5. Chapter 5

Perry and Terrence returned to the center of Gluum after a while. Daly looked relieved to see Perry's grave expression.

"He's not leaving?" He asked.

"No." Perry said.

"I wanted to." Terrence said. "But it seemed like it would mess too much with the real world."

"You must want to take someone up." Now that he knew Terrence was still remaining in Gluum, Daly seemed to take pity on Perry again.

"I guess I'll just go up alone." Perry said. "If you're sure you don't want to leave Gluum."

"Certain. I'm sticking here." Daly said.

Bucky spun around in a circle and barked.

"I have to show you my house." Terrence said. "You'll love it."

Perry didn't answer.

Terrence tried to put his arm around Perry's shoulder, but after many failed attempts, he settled for standing close to him. "Follow me."

Perry followed him. They walked by many shops filled with ghosts talking and laughing. One ghost, who looked slightly like a raptor, turned and waved at them as they passed. A giant floating baby head spun around and around in front of a restroom.

"We have no idea where that came from." Terrence said. "In here."

He led Perry inside of what looked like a falling-apart garden shed. The inside didn't look any better, but tons of pictures lined the walls. Objects sat on a single table in the middle of the room.

"Memories." Terrence said. "People keep their memories in their homes. I think you'll like a lot of them."

Perry walked over to the table and picked up a leaf. "Is this…?"

Terrence nodded and smiled.

Perry smiled back. "You were the first one to tell me that there were more than ten leaves on a tree."

"And you told me you ate one once."

"And this snowball? For that time when we were wondering how snow just left?"

"Yes. But what it really reminds me of is how much I missed you. I miss having my friend right beside me, blowing on the snow and trying to question it in as many different ways as possible.

Perry froze. He was staring at a photograph on the wall.

Terrence followed his gaze. "Oh. Yes. That one. That one has the place of honor on my wall."

Perry swallowed. He felt like a huge watermelon had decided to move into his throat and throw a party in there for all of its watermelon friends.

"The last time we ever saw each other."

"Yeah."

It was a picture of Perry and Terrence sitting in a pile of leaves. Terrence had fashioned a crown out of a few of them. Perry was laughing.

Perry felt his eyes water as he remembered.

_Terrence jumped into the leaf pile, then popped up again. "Come on! Jump in. It's fun, I promise!"_

_Perry hesitated. "I don't know. Doesn't it hurt?"_

_"Heck no. Try it."_

_Perry ran and jumped. He landed on top of Terrence and bounced backward into the leaf pile. He started to laugh._

_"Well, it hurts NOW." Terrence said, but he was laughing too. He picked up a handful of leaves and tossed them in the air. "Come to me, my leafy friends!"_

_"I was thinking." Perry said. "We should go into business together."_

_"Crime-fighting? Or leaf-throwing?"_

_"I don't know. I don't really care. I just know that I don't ever want to lose you as a friend. Even when we're all old and cranky, I still want to be connected to you somehow."_

_"Even as we are fighting over our false teeth and chasing each other with canes, I promise you, I will always be your friend." Terrence said. He put his arm around Perry and hugged him._

_"Cookies." Perry said._

_"Cookies?"  
"We'll go into the cookie business. We'll create a huge cookie restaurant called Cookie Ruler. And we'll sell them by the millions."_

_"And eat them by the millions."_

_"If you seriously eat millions of cookies in one sitting, I'll crown you king of the cookieness."_

_Terrence stuck some leaves in his feathers so he looked like he was wearing a crown. "Hail me! The amazing ruler of Cookietopia!"_

_Perry cracked up._

_"Perry!" It was Phineas, calling for his pet. "Perry, where are you? It's suppertime."_

_Perry frowned. "I have to go." He said._

_"I'll see you tomorrow." Terrence said._

_Perry nodded. He stood up and brushed bits of dry leaves out of his fur. "Tomorrow. Okay." He bounded toward Phineas, giving Terrence a wink goodbye._

_Terrence gave a wave and a smile._

"Are you okay, Perry?" Terrence asked.

Perry hadn't realized he'd started crying. Terrence tried to comfort him, but he still was unable to make any physical contact.

"Here." Terrence handed him a tissue. Perry blew his nose.

"Oops." Perry looked at the tissue. "You took that from your table. I blew my nose on a sentimental tissue. I'm sorry."

"No, no. Don't worry about it." Terrence folded the tissue up and used the clean side to wipe Perry's eyes. "It was from this one time when I stole a tissue from a produce man. Calm down."

Perry sat down on the crooked floor and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. It's just… when you died… it was really hard on me."

"I understand." Terrence said, sitting down next to him. "I was worried when I came to Gluum. I didn't know how you would take it. I still can't believe after all these years, I finally get a chance to talk to you."

"I was really upset when I heard you died… and then when I heard you'd been murdered, I lost it…"

Terrence frowned for a second, as though he hadn't expected Perry to say that at all.

"...I have to admit, being killed by someone who took care of me for three years wasn't the way I wanted to go. But I'm okay. I want you to know that."

Perry sniffled. "I really miss having you around. You were my best friend."

"I still am your best friend." Terrence said. "I always will be. You take up half the photos on my memory wall. You know what the rest of photos are of? Cow butts, grass and horse legs. Just stuff I saw when I was being mindless. And if there's one thing I miss the most from being alive, it's you."

A ghost man entered the room. He had on very hip clothes. "Terrence, dude! There's like, a totally radical party at Wayne's pad tonight!"

"Oookay. See you there."

"Like, word!" The ghost man left.

"The other thing I miss is a door that locks." Terrence said.

Perry laughed.

* * *

Terrence and Perry stared at the fireworks. They blasted into the sky, creating pictures of skulls and random ghosts.

"Oooohhh. Ahhhhh." Said the ghosts, enchanted by the creepy event.

"I don't think I would ever want to stay down here." Perry said.

"Some people don't." Terrence said. "But I had a different life than you did. To me, darkness and dampness gives me a feeling of security."

"I'm glad you have a real home now."

"My home will always be here, but my heart will always be with you." Terrence said.

A firework exploded again. This time it was a picture of Daly's face.

"That's a pretty one." Daly said loudly.

Perry turned to Terrence in alarm. "I'm waking up."

"How do you know?" Terrence asked.

"I can tell. I'm waking up. I feel like I still have so much to tell you."  
"I do as well. But Perry, I need to tell you something-"

"Did he say he was waking up?" A scruffy dog asked.

"He's a visitor." Terrence explained.

The dog clutched onto Perry's leg. It scared Perry a little. "I thought people here couldn't touch me!"

"He's waking up, too." Terrence said.

"What does that mean?"

"I'd tell you, but I have to tell you something more important first."

"I'll miss you!"

"I'll miss you too. But Perry, don't let…"

But Gluum faded away, and the last thing Perry saw of it was Bucky, wandering aimlessly away from the fireworks show.

* * *

"Agent P?" Monogram said. "Are you awake now?"

Perry tried to make out the blur that was standing over him.

"Agent P?"  
Perry could kind of see Monogram's face. He squinted.

"Your surgery went well." Monogram said. "You should be good to go in a couple of days."

"Didja feel anything?" Devon asked. Devon and Pinky were sitting next to Perry's bed.

Perry shook his head. "No. I'm really tired, Dev. But I saw Terrence. He's all happy and good in the land of Gluum."

"Huh?"

"He's a little groggy from the stuff they gave him." Pinky whispered. "He probably has no idea what he's saying."

"I know what I'm saying." Perry insisted. "I saw him. And the old family pet Phineas used to have, Bucky."

"Terrence and Bucky." Pinky repeated. "Both of them were in the land of gloom?"

"Yep."

Pinky covered Perry up with his bedsheets. "You probably should get some rest. You're still a little weak."

"I know what I'm saying, Pinky."  
"Shh. Get some sleep."

A dog burst through the door of the room. Perry recognized him as the dog who had clutched onto his leg back in Gluum.

"Jack?" Dana said. "Where have you been?"

"I was dead." Jack said. "But I was brought up by a visitor."

"You came back to life for me?" Dana said happily. "Oh, Jack! I'm so glad to see you again!"

"You too, girlfriend!"

He hugged her.

"Ow." Dana said. "Watch the cast."

"Sorry."

"Oranges and peaches… on my grocery list." Perry mumbled. Maybe Pinky was right. He had no idea why he was talking about fruit.

"Maybe he's hungry. Should we get him some oranges?" Devon asked Pinky.

"We can't feed him. He can't eat or drink for twenty-four hours after surgery. Maybe we can go shopping for him."

"Oh, sure. You believe that I have oranges and peaches on my grocery list, but you DON'T believe that I talked to my dead friend?"

"He's so dazed." Pinky said. "Poor thing."

Perry couldn't think of a retort. "Hap… hap… hop. Bunnies hop."

"Poor thing. Has no idea what he's saying." Devon patted him on the head. "Don't worry, Perry. We won't leave your side for a second."

Monogram peeked through the door. "Guess what? The hospital buffet just opened! There's tacos!"

"TACOS!" Pinky and Devon jumped up and ran out the door.

"Yes. You guys are loyal friends." Perry muttered. "Kangaroos and ice cream."


	6. Chapter 6

"You're recovering beautifully. I think you will be able to go back home today." Monogram said.

Perry smiled at him. He was still a little sore and tired, but he definitely felt better than he had before.

"You had better sleep on your back tonight, though." Monogram said.

Perry nodded.

"And then my TV wasn't working." Dana was telling Jack about her misfortunes. "And I had to watch some stupid show about some guy with a pinhead."

"Aww. My poor Dana Wana."

"And my poor Jackie Wackie."

"I'm going home today." Perry told them.

"Thanks for bringing me up, man." Jack said.

"Teddybear." Dana said.

"Pumpkin pie." Jack said.

Perry rolled his eyes.

* * *

Monogram handed Perry's pet carrier to Linda. "Where are the boys?"

"They didn't know Perry was coming home today. I'll pick them up from their friend's house on the way home. I'm sure it'll be a wonderful surprise for them. They were so worried about him."

"There are no bars here." Candace complained, trying to get a signal on her cell phone.

"Be sure to give him his pain medications for the next few days, and make sure he rests."

"We will." Linda said. "Thank you."  
They left.

* * *

Phineas and Ferb jumped into the backseat. Phineas grabbed Perry's carrier and placed it on his lap. "He came home a day early! Oh man! That's awesome!"

"His vet says everything went well, and he'll be back to normal in a few days. Did you thank Buford's mother for having you over?"

"Yep."

Linda pulled out of Buford's driveway and they started home.

"Can I hold the carrier?" Ferb asked.

Phineas hesitated for a moment, then handed the carrier to his brother.

"Thanks." Ferb said.

Phineas smiled. He put one hand on the carrier.

* * *

"Really? So it was like this whole town of ghosts?" Phineas asked. He, Ferb and Perry were all sitting on Ferb's bed.

"It was really cool." Perry said. "I got to see one of my best friends." He looked at Ferb and said quietly, "I also saw your mother. I let her know you were okay."

Ferb looked confused. "Why was mother in a ghost town?"

"Does that mean mom can see ghosts, too?" Phineas asked.

Perry laughed and shook his head. "Never mind. No, Linda wasn't there. Forget I said anything."

"Who was your friend?" Phineas asked.

Perry smiled. "Terrence. He and I got to catch up and stuff."

"Awesome. Did he give you any future advice or something before you left?"

Perry frowned. "I think he was about to. But he ran out of time."

"Hope it wasn't anything too important." Ferb said.

"It probably wasn't."

* * *

"Perry was a nice little guy, wasn't he?" Daly said. He and Terrence were going to the house of Harvey, a ghost who threw amazing parties.

"I wish I'd had more time to talk to him." Terrence sighed. "He seemed changed. More serious. He didn't seem interested in making friends with you or Bucky or anyone."

"Maybe he's shy."  
"No. And he was always like that. I was his only friend. But now that I'm gone… I worry that he's all alone. Before he left, I tried to tell him that he shouldn't let me hold him back. He needs to have his own life, and make friends. I didn't want my death to scare him out of having relationships."

Daly patted Terrence on the back. "I'm sure he's fine. Besides, a few seconds after people leave Gluum, sometimes they hear in their minds and repeat things that were said by the people here. There's a chance he told himself exactly what you were trying to tell him."

"I'm not sure I understand that." Terrence said. He pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his fur pocket and looked at it. "Before we go to Harvey's, can we get some groceries first? I need to pick up some oranges and peaches. They've been on my grocery list since yesterday."

"You TOLD me that yesterday, remember? We might as well. I still need that Kangaroo-brand ice cream."


End file.
